Sweat.

I. Hate. Exercise.

Despite doing sports throughout middle school, high school, and college, I've never gotten into it. I have the hardest time motivating myself to just do the damn thing. I'll amble around the house, doing everything else except go for a jog, do the stationary bike, even do some sit-ups.

I think one of the problems is that I get very little personal reward out of exercising. When I get done doing a "workout" (and by workout I mean 30 minutes on the bike at low resistance or 2 miles heaving around my neighborhood), I don't feel very accomplished. I don't feel exhilarated. I feel tired. And sweaty. And sure, maybe I feel a little proud that I got off my butt and did something. But I'm not sure I'll ever really relate to those people that enjoy (or at least, seem to enjoy) running, or working out, or whatever physical activity they prefer.

But

This past year I've worked out more than I probably ever have before, required practices for volleyball in high school excused. I'm at 27.84 miles of running/jogging/walking since the beginning of January. I've managed to get a good working heart rate for a 45 minute stationary bike ride. And yeah, maybe I've bribed myself by making a jar where I put in a dollar every time I exercise for 30 minutes or more that I plan to spend in fervor at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Hollywood and Disneyland this summer. But I think the biggest thing is that I've decided to exercise 2 - 4 times a week, even when I really, really, really don't want to. You are your own harshest critic, or so they say, and the same goes for "You are the best person to be able to talk yourself out of something because who knows your own weaknesses better?". Slowly, but surely, I'm figuring out when to ignore myself.

So

I've grudgingly accepted the fact that I should - and frankly, need to - exercise to be healthy and help with my weight loss journey, which is a whole other story. Now I just sigh when I get up knowing I need to go for a jog or a cycle instead of scowl and scrunch up my face in disdain. So I don't hate it as much as I used to. It's not the worst, though it's far from the best.

But I still hate exercise.